Dear those who used to bully me,

Dear my old bullies, 

You didn't break me. Not even close. 

I spent years trying to fight you back, change myself and just disappear. But I should have just stayed true to myself because I am truly an awesome person and you nearly made me forget that. 

I wish I could go back in time and tell you all to F*** Off! And then do my best to just ignore you. But I was too fragile back then and I couldn't find the strength too. Or when I did you just laughed and I felt like crumbling. 

I am a strong, outspoken lady. And you should have respected that. But you were jealous I guess and I can't fix that. I can't change your inherent need to make people feel weak so you feel less so yourself. I wish you hadn't just targeted people who refused to be sheep with you all.

Some day I hope you will all realise and change, but I am glad you are no longer in my life so I really don't care either way. 

I am myself and I spent too much of my younger years not being true to me, but I am now who I should be and I am annoyed it took me as long as it did. It's better late than never though.

If you are being bullied, I know it is so hard and I am really sorry that you are experiencing what you are. This may or may not help to know that you are probably not alone but, whatever you do, stay true to yourself, the bullies want to make you feel powerless and that way they win. 

If you are strong enough then stand up for yourself, but I know that is not the easiest thing to do. Also tell someone, your school may not be able to permanently fix the issue but if you can find a way to fix it they should be willing to help. And you will always find someone who cares, there are even good places online that you can go to to look for advice that are anonymous. 

It will also end. Not as soon as you want in some cases, but you are not stuck in one place forever and it won't always be like this. I went through a bad two years but it did end, and little by little I put myself back together like a lego model. 

Looking back on that time I don't really think I could have changed anything, I wish it hadn't affected me so but it made me stronger today which I am thankful for now, as life is really hard sometimes, and the strength that got me through the bad years has served me well since.

Taking this back to where I started;

To the Bullies of the World, stop it. 

No seriously stop it. 

If you have issues that you want to work out, taking it out on others will only make you feel guilty, it won't solve them for you.

You need to find the confidence to be different, stand up for the kid that is being picked on for once! You can make a change for good; don't be sexist, homophobic, racist or just shitty. Be nice, kind and caring. 

Little by little the world gets better, but it won't if no one does anything. 

Your sincerely,

Amber x

On the eve of St Valentine's....

If you haven't got a date for tomorrow, don't despair. 

Tomorrow is about more than who you date, it is about LOVE, and you can love more than one person. I love my family, my friends and my cat, that love is what defines me, not my relationship status. 

You are never really alone, apart from inside your own head I guess, but there is always someone who loves you, they may just not bombard you with a dozen red roses on one day of the year. 

Tomorrow for me is a day where I celebrate LOVE. That crazy four letter word that will be plastered everywhere and then dispersed into the ether. 

Love is amazing, it keeps us alive. 

I also don't buy into the idea you can be too young to be in love. I have loved a lot; I love my family and I have loved people when they had no idea, and that has spanned 18 years. 

I have loved my mum since I came into the world, and I wasn't too young for love then. 

So if you are young (and you can feel young at any age too) or are experiencing a new love and someone tells you that you aren't in love when you feel like you are; don't listen to them, they don't understand how you feel most likely, but the thing about love is it's unique to the beholder, we all feel it in different ways, so that doesn't mean it isn't real. 

Love is great, and we as humanity should learn to love each other, that way the world would be a better place. 

So for tomorrow, love-birds be merry, treasure your loved ones and celebrate that wonderful thing of falling in love. Cupid send out your arrows and Aphrodite, I call on you to help those that feel lonely to remember they are loved above all, because they still have more love to give. 

Best wishes my loving friends,

Amber xx♥

Taking leaps and saying yes!

Sometimes in life you have to risk things, somethings you just can't plan for, and sometimes the best answer to shall I do this is YES! 

Hey everyone, 

So I am having a really nice time at the moment and it is because I just keep saying yes (within reason) when opportunities arrive. 

I am a pretty big worrier but I always manage to land on my feet (eventually) so I really ought to stop worrying as much and take more risks. To be honest, most of the awesome stuff that I have been up to recently is down to me just taking that inital scary leap and it all working out ok in the end. 

It is therefore I recommendation of this blog to say yes more often and worry less, if you want good stuff to happen you have to stick your neck out at least some of the way. Nothing happens to people who just sit and wait for life to start happening, you have to grab opportunities with both hands.

Remember however that nothing in life is easy, and nothing is guaranteed. Leaps of faith are that because there is always some element of the unknown, and life can and will creep up on you to put a spanner in the works.

And if it does, take it from someone who has survived a fair few myself, don't worry, because opportunities you are meant to have work out, while ones that don't point you towards your real self. 

I always thought I would go to Cambridge and study science and become the worlds best scientific researcher, but as the door was closed when that moment came, instead I unlocked the human rights driven, legal mind from within me, and now, miles from Cambridge, I am more true to myself than I would be if it had worked out as I had thought. And I am 100% sure I am happier now than I would of been too. 

So reach for the stars when you can, and then you'll always sparkle. 

Hope you are all well,

Love Amber xx♥️