This blog has been very much neglected by me so sorry but I am back!
Love is a constant in our world, like the permittivity of free space or the speed of light. Everyone is out there looking for it and for a while it will elude you and most people give up on it (or look in the wrong places!!) I don't think anyone has found the perfect equation for it but I am sure there are a few crucial basics:
- You must always feel good with the other person because you will probably end up telling them some of your most personal feelings and if you don't feel like you can trust them, trust yourself and run a mile!
- You should think about the other person a reasonable chunk of the day, if you forget about them after five minutes of talking to them then maybe you aren't that keen after all.
- You have to have stuff in common to talk about when the silence falls, it always happens. You will be together and that moment will come and if it is left silent, maybe you have run out of things to say, take the hint.
- Don't over analyse everything that happens between the two of you, if love is coming, it will take hold as and when the time is right. Although if there is a promise of a call, a date etc. and that doesn't become apparent, then the analysis is they are not into you.
- Enjoy the chase. Flirting, texting, going out on a date all happens in stages. Love will not fall into your lap with a marriage proposal and the keys to your family home. Patience is under rated but it is so important to stick with it, if its right it will come into being.
- Arguing is healthy but not all the time. Everyone has bad days and gets into a crap mood as is a complete ass, its natural, but you need to both be able to navigate these by being understanding of each other, not throwing in the towel after the first. However, if this happens everyday or about the most petty things, its not healthy and get the hell out before you go insane.
- Finally, looks are not everything, don't write off the other person just for a little thing, attraction usually happens with people who are opposites on the surface but are the same underneath. The only way you will ever know the truth is to get to know them, see the real them and then decide. It is a minefield and there is a risk of getting burned but its all part of finding the right fit for you, like trying on shoes or buying a new house, it will, just one day, be right.
I will leave you with a quote from Because I Said So which is a film where the girl has trouble finding love and her mum tries to "help" and at the end Johnny (who is perfect for her) says:
"Even before I met you I had an instinct about you. Once I saw you were a woman with profound static cling I wanted to be that force around you...I love that when I breathe you in you smell like cake batter. And I love that you have this insane way of talking in circles that makes perfect sense.... I love your eyes. I even love... your mother."
Good luck finding love my dear readers,
Amber xx
