I'm not changing, I'm just ageing...

Hey everyone,

So I recently turned a year older and have since been quite reflective about myself as I head out of being a teenager and ever closer to being an adult. 

While at Warwick I celebrated my birthday and a day later a new friend said to me as we parted ways, "Amber, never change who you are", to which I turned and remarked that if I have made it to the giddy age of 17 without changing then perhaps I will always stay the same. 

This thought then started a further chain of revelations about myself. I was bullied for a really long time for what can only be because I was a strong, confident and smart female, too young and unable to stand up for myself. However if I think about it, I haven't really changed my personality at all, thanks to a lot of help from my friends and my lovely parents; and although for a long time I was really down and affected by everything, I now have more metal to deal with the bad stuff and am even happier when the good stuff comes along.

So I am older, a bit more logical, and have a bit more metal, yet I am not a robot and the bad still hurts just the same  - it's now just a bit more manageable than it was before. 

I am still a nerdy, geeky, fashion crazy, ambitious, logical, lacking perfection girl with a strange sense of humour and random selection of general knowledge. I am also a loving daughter, cousin and friend, while moonlighting as a poet when life is quiet. 

But no matter what I do or where I go, I am me and no-one else. 

I hope you guys find inner strength from this, so you can be you forever.

All the best,

Amber xx

Dear Aphrodite...

Hey, 

I haven't written in this blog for a while, too long. I started this blog to answer life's questions and maybe help me answer my own.

But I'm still a single London girl and I've stopped looking for love, it's elusive but I think, well I hope, it will find me eventually.

When I set out to answer the question of love I had no set answer and I've written plenty of poems on the subject, none of which seemed to give me a solid answer yet maybe are trying to point me in the right direction, although I'll put some more of them on here if you'd like. 

Love I think is whatever you want or need it to be, I hope mine will be careful and slow yet build to a passion for each other that only the truest of lovers have and, like many girls who dream of love, it had better be real. 

I watched Sex and The City (movie) earlier on today and then Letters to Juliet and I think I could be a Carrie or a Sophie, finding love with my version of Romeo even if there is a difficult bit in between.

Carrie has always been an inspiration to me as I can't think of any single girl who has has a better yet very realistic life, apart from Bridget Jones who got to kiss Hugh Grant and Colin Firth! I also love the way her column narrates her life, as I hope my blogs do for mine. 

So I have two more AS exams and then the summer is mine, summer loving I can't predict but fun and fabulousness is a promise! 

Long live us, the vintage old style romantic souls, yet fully armed with the realists mind - or just a good mum and a sound minded best friend if we can't manage it ourselves. 

Luv,

Amber xx♥

A poem about Love...

Dear Readers,

I haven't written poetry for about three years and last night I was inspired to write again.

This is a poem about love;

Why am I up at this time of night?
Turned off the day, switched off the light,
Am staring at this big bright moon,
Whose glow is shining through the gloom.

My prince as ever waits for me,
In wind or rain, with chivalry,
The stars that twinkle up above,
All align and point to love.

I am yet to meet him though,
The tide that takes him to and fro,
One day when the time is right,
He'll stand and prepare to make this fight.

Love is a battlefield,
So they say,
A war can seem,
Like the only way.

So I will watch upon these shores,
To welcome him through open doors,
He will launch a thousand ships for me,
Some may call it an army.

But on this night,
Up above,
 The stars align,
And point to love.
 

Hope you like it,

 

Love,

 

Amber xx♥

What makes the best love...

Dear readers,

This blog has been very much neglected by me so sorry but I am back!

Love is a constant in our world, like the permittivity of free space or the speed of light. Everyone is out there looking for it and for a while it will elude you and most people give up on it (or look in the wrong places!!) I don't think anyone has found the perfect equation for it but I am sure there are a few crucial basics:

1. You must always feel good with the other person because you will probably end up telling them some of your most personal feelings and if you don't feel like you can trust them, trust yourself and run a mile!
2. You should think about the other person a reasonable chunk of the day, if you forget about them after five minutes of talking to them then maybe you aren't that keen after all.
3. You have to have stuff in common to talk about when the silence falls, it always happens. You will be together and that moment will come and if it is left silent, maybe you have run out of things to say, take the hint.
4. Don't over analyse everything that happens between the two of you, if love is coming, it will take hold as and when the time is right. Although if there is a promise of a call, a date etc. and that doesn't become apparent, then the analysis is they are not into you.
5. Enjoy the chase. Flirting, texting, going out on a date all happens in stages. Love will not fall into your lap with a marriage proposal and the keys to your family home. Patience is under rated but it is so important to stick with it, if its right it will come into being.
6. Arguing is healthy but not all the time. Everyone has bad days and gets into a crap mood as is a complete ass, its natural, but you need to both be able to navigate these by being understanding of each other, not throwing in the towel after the first. However, if this happens everyday or about the most petty things, its not healthy and get the hell out before you go insane.  
7. Finally, looks are not everything, don't write off the other person just for a little thing, attraction usually happens with people who are opposites on the surface but are the same underneath. The only way you will ever know the truth is to get to know them, see the real them and then decide. It is a minefield and there is a risk of getting burned but its all part of finding the right fit for you, like trying on shoes or buying a new house, it will, just one day, be right.

In summary the best love is the imperfect yet right love that can be very elusive but you only have to look at people around you and then you will see the way they look into their lovers eyes or hold their hand and you see that love ties them together.

I will leave you with a quote from Because I Said So which is a film where the girl has trouble finding love and her mum tries to "help" and at the end Johnny (who is perfect for her) says:

"Even before I met you I had an instinct about you. Once I saw you were a woman with profound static cling I wanted to be that force around you...I love that when I breathe you in you smell like cake batter. And I love that you have this insane way of talking in circles that makes perfect sense.... I love your eyes. I even love... your mother."

 

Good luck finding love my dear readers,

 

Amber xx